Thursday, January 22, 2009

Board of Regents Prepares for Jan. 30th Meeting


The The Western™ Board of Regents (pictured at left) is preparing for its January 30th meeting. The Board plans to discuss a wide range of topics, and has released the agenda to the public. We reproduce it here for you edification:




  1. 9:00 - 9:05- Making an Offer to Retain a Worthless Dean We Wish Would Have Just Taken His Other Job Offer and Left

  2. 9:05 - 9:06- Discussion of How We're Going to Raid the Budget to Put Money Into the Raise Pool So Gary Can Look Good

  3. 9:06 - 9:30- English Department Presentation on Meaning of "Robbing Peter to Pay Paul"

  4. 9:30 - 10:00- We're in HOW MUCH Debt?

  5. 10:00 - 10:15- Hey, How's That Division I Football Thing Working Out?

  6. 10:15 - 10:16- It's Academics' Turn

  7. 10:16 - 10:45- Discussion of Bake Sale to Fund Academics

  8. 10:45 - 10:45- Roundtable Discussion: What Are Our Priorities?

  9. 10:45 - 11:00- Roundtable Discussion: What's for Lunch?

  10. 11:00 - 2:00- Catered Lunch Break [With the Kind of Food Marriot Never Serves the Rest of Us]

  11. 2:00 - 2:30- Discussion of How Much We Love Gary

  12. 2:30 - 3:00- Follow-up Discussion of How Much We Love Gary

  13. 2:30 - 2:31- Debate on President Ransdell's Proposals

  14. 2:31- Distribution and Reading of Action Items

  15. 2:31- Passage of Everything Pres. Ransdell Asks For

  16. 2:31- Roundtable Discussion: Reflection on Total Abdication of Our Oversight Duties as Regents

  17. 2:31 - 3:50- Tea, Cookies (Macaroons, which are easy on the dentures)

  18. 3:50 - 3:59- Vote to Rename DUC the "Lisa Sparxx Student Success Center" After Locally-Born Entrepreneur

  19. 3: 59 - 4:00- Discussion of Fiscal Priorities (time permitting)

  20. 4:00- Adjournment, with plenty of self-congratulatory backslapping

1 comment:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 23, 2009 at 8:06 PM

    Obviously, you guys have attended a number of BOR meetings. The only items you have left out are (1) Debra Wilkins (mis)using her legal expertise to declare illegal anything that Ransdell doesn't want to do; (2) Lois Grey telling anyone and everyone who has been screwed over by the board that they "just need to get over it" and (3) Ann Mead complaining that Academics is getting any money at all. After all, why waste money of faculty and classrooms when you can spend it on administrative salaries, football stadiums, or chapels. It's not like we're a university!

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